Knowing Our Soma = Knowing Our Truth

We are used to living in our heads in everyday life, repetitive thought processes, inner critics, intellectual/rational work environment. We lose ourselves, our sense of feeling, experiencing, living through the soma. When we lose touch with that part of ourselves, we lose touch with what we want, how we want it, who we are, how we feel, we give up on our dreams and more. We can feel numb,...

Emerging Consciousness: Personal AM Practice

A Reflective Writing after an Authentic movement Personal Practice:I begin the practice not knowing how things will unfold. After some walking around the room, I notice I have the need to connect to my legs, but I am unaware how to make it happen. I bend down and place my hands on my head. I find a position where my elbows are relaxed on my thighs, and my hands are holding my jaws. My palms are...

My Inner Being

What I strive to connect to is my inner Being. That is the being that experiences deeply, gives itself completely to the world, demands profound relationships, mutuality in partnerships, to be met in its strength, weakness, vulnerability, emotionality. It aspires to expose itself, to be seen in a completely unveiled way. Sometimes fear gets in the way of that and the Being runs away. Then, it...

Bringing Back My Soul To Life

There is a part of me that is very eager to finish work without allowing time for processing, it does not want to wait the emotional body, it is chasing its schedule. It feels very cold, repelling, unsatisfied, frustrated. It is completely by the book, tough, lifeless, dry, unbreakable boring. It doesn’t allow for anything new to come forth. Defends patriarchy at all costs. It is actually...

Embodying Emotion (Anger): Personal Practice

In a process of AM I often encounter the fear of starting to move. Thoughts such as “what do I feel”, “is this the right thing I need to do”, “is this an impulse from within?”, “should I start now?”, “how do I start?” completely impede the flow of energy. Constant doubting as to what is right or wrong, how something is made, who is watching, can I let go, how much should I let...

Embodying Emotion (Anger): Session

In one of the sessions, a participant had a similar experience where her controlling, but also fearful mind was afraid to let go. Finding AM as a new somatic approach, she felt self-conscious and uncertain. Unable to relax and trust her soma, she shared the control is within her neck. Her experience really moved me reminding me of my control as a representation of the inner child. From my...

Accessing Control: Personal Practice

A witness is staying present for me. In my mind I feel anxious, frustrated, uneasy. I am aware someone is observing me as if they want me to do something. I do not know what I should be doing. I feel out of place. Constantly seeing myself through the witness’s eyes, I am outside of my body. Unable to stay still and simply experience. Frustrated with myself I acknowledge I am angry with myself....

Accessing Control: Session

A participant reminded me a lot of my controlling self. He is a young man from Love & Shakti Centre whom I have known for years. After moving into space, he shared he felt intense sadness in his heart. Later he described: "It feels like a part of me wants to break down and cry while the other one cannot let go of the control. Feels like two parts. The right (the masculine side) one wants to...

The Passive-Aggressive Hurt Self: Personal Practice

This AM practice concerns a situation in which I encountered a wall of impossibilities in the process of completing my thesis. My ego-mind wanted something to be completed in a certain way, and its fear it won’t occur generated anxiety and discontent within my soma. The following text describes my experience: My rational mind wants everything to happen immediately, creating distress in the...

The Passive-Aggressive Hurt Self: Session

This is a participant whom I have known all my life and with whom I have had weekly sessions since the end of 2020. This practice focused on her sensations of lack of self-worth in her workspace. It describes the fear of failure, which is rooted in childhood trauma. It shows how a vulnerable child can start seeking revenge or becoming a victim (Kalsched, 2015).  The session began with a...

A Stressed Psyche and its Soma: Personal Practice

Approaching the end of my thesis, my stress levels reach a peak. My stomach is aching, I had not eaten properly in days, and I can barely feel my belly. It is entirely numb, or rather I am too numb to sense it. It is like a highly concentrated charged ball of energy. Adrenaline and cortisol (stress hormone) provide me with the energy to continue. This has to stop. I need to come back to my...

A Stressed Psyche Needs its Soma: Session

One particular participant reminded me why the connection to the soma is so significantly important to me, especially in stressful situations. This woman had just moved to e different country to start a job. She was dealing with numerous documentation processes concerning her residence in the country, other organizations, and training for a new position at work which made her feel anxious and...